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So if you understand the loose reference of the title, then can we take a second to appreciate the pop genius of Taylor Swift? If you don't, no worries- it's from Bad Blood from Miss Swift's new album, 1989. The bridge of the song croons that "band aids don't fix bullet holes / you say sorry just for show / if you live like that, you live with ghosts". Whilst obsessively listening to the entire album on repeat, the aforementioned lines got me thinking.
Do we all live with ghosts? Because I can almost guarantee that not every apology I've given, regrettably, has been completely sincere. Do we say sorry just for show? What defines the difference between when you say sorry because you want forgiveness and for the badness to disappear, and when you truly are, from the depths of everything you are...sorry.
Perhaps apologies, and their sincerity differ on the person to whom you are apologising. Saying sorry to a relative could be seen as more important than the quick "sorry" you utter when treading on someone's foot whilst shimmying past them on a busy street- but what if, run with me here, every apology was of the same weight? Or if every sorry you ever said, had to mean something? Would we apologize less? Or would we be forced to open our eyes to how our actions affect those around us?
If saying sorry for show was no longer an option, would relationships be better or worse?
As a child, I certainly said my fair share of sulky "sorry"s when I'd pilfered a biscuit or two. I wasn't sorry! I'd snuck in an extra jam cream- how proposterous, to think I'd regret it! Gosh mama!
If I was unable to apologize unless I really, truly, honestly meant it- would I be in more trouble, or less? It would make the world a more honest place. But I guess that's because apologies are quite often the aftermath of a dose of hefty, unpleasant honesty (or being caught, but even then, you have to be honest and admit to it!). So is saying sorry for show another way of lying? Do you become less honest if you're apologising to rectify a situation for which you aren't sorry, and there's no clear wrongdoing, just the messy business of feelings?
If you apologize to spare someone's feelings, then, are you doing right or wrong?
I guess honesty doesn't leave much room for the consideration of feelings most times...but I'm going to give only apologising when I'm sorry a go. I'll report back on how unpopular I get!